Life of the Unemployed Part One

Good morning world and fellow unemployed.

I got up around 7 to Mindy's uncontrolled barking at the neighbors off to productive jobs and careers. Mindy is better than any alarm clock.

While catching up on local and world news, a fellow unemployee called and invited me for a coffee at Starbucks. I take a 3 minute shower, pull the hair up into a ponytail and run out the door. Mindy almost tripped me as she rushed out just ahead of my foot fall. This meant running back in to grab her leash and hoping she would follow to the car. Fortunately, she did and all was well with the world.

We arrived at Starbucks and no Fred. I called him and he stated he was delayed. That gave me time to put on make up. Don't usually wear makeup cuz I consider it a waste of time and money and makeup does not impress Fred but I put it on anyway. I know it doesn't really improve my looks--remember I am an old fat lady--but what the heck.

Mindy jumped from the truck first--it is a Tahoe and never ceases to amaze me that this pup could set a world's record in the high jump.. I clumsily fell out of the truck trying to keep her in check. After tying her to an outdoor umbrella, I headed inside for a coffee with ice. I refuse to pay extra for an iced coffee.

Fred finally arrived having already gotten his coffee before I even noticed him which should be an impossibility because he is at least 6'4" in height. My watch dog, always in protective mode, didn't notice Fred either.

Now begins the conversation. We discussed everything--his visit to Oklahoma for his dad's birthday, sleeping on the sofa bed, Ann Rand-the Russian born novelist, friends, the state of our society, the real estate market, my family, the state of the economy, race and culture, farming, Martha's Vineyard--got the idea?!

We talked until after 2:00--more than 5 hours. I think we would still be talking but we were both getting hungry..

I headed to the house after hitting Taco Cabana's drive through for chicken tacos and a diet coke.

I am going to start job hunting....soon....today????

My Dog Ate My Wedding Cake

My daughter was married in May. We were on a very tight budget. I am obsessed with Cake Boss and Martha Stewart. They make cake baking and decorating look so easy. And when I taught Home Economics, I had a cake decorator spend three days teaching my students to make flowers, and leaves, and scallops. So I felt imminently qualified to make my daughter's wedding cake--large enough for 175 guests..

I went through bridal magazines and took pictures of cakes and sent them to my daughter. I searched the Internet and sent more photos for her approval. Then we went shopping for the supplies at Michael's. We bought round pans (I could not talk her into columns). We bought turquoise and white candy melts to make sea shell candy and we bought a fancy cake cutter to take off the tops of the baked cakes for leveling.

Next we went to Walmart for the 7 boxes of cake mixes, the 4 bags of powder sugar, (I had decided fondants would be difficult without Buddy's big machine to roll it out flat), the butter, the vanilla, a mixer, etc.

The day before the wedding, I was ready. My daughter decided to trade the round pans for paisley shaped pans--no problem. She decided on live flowers and ribbons. Ok. No problem. I even spent hours watching U-tube videos on cake decorating.

I baked the cakes without burning any of the six layers. I sliced off the tops. I made butter cream icing. I gave the layers a crumb coat. I was a pro. The layers didn't quite match and I was afraid to trim. I decided to fill in with icing.

Then I began the icing for real. I used tons of icing. It was hell getting it smooth. I tried the paper towel trick -- laying a paper towel over the icing and lightly rubbing--a trick I learned from U-tube. I had quilted marks all over the cake. Apparently there is a special brand of paper towels for this to work. The icing was too thick and because of the heat and humidity it began to sag.

I walked away to destress, to figure out my next move.

Fifteen minutes later, I had all the answers (not) and was ready to try again to try and smooth and put on the finishing touches.

And there was Mindy, my two year old Morkie, on the table, licking all the icing from the top two layers. I started screaming and she started running.

No problem. I had time to remake the two layers --go to the store for more cake mixes, time to bake and cool and ice and smooth and....I got busy.

While the new cake was cooling, I thought I would take a nap. Oh no!! My pup had regurgitated a pound of butter cream on the bed. I am just a little intimidated by my future so- in-law --I had to clean the bedding before he found out!!

As I am tripping from the bedroom to the laundry room with an armload of bedding, I discovered another half pound of regurgiated icing on the den rug. I had to roll up the rug to take outside for a thorough cleaning.

Ok. Everything was ok. Had it all under control.

Wedding Day!!

The Internet didn't explain well the transporting of a 6 layer three tier cake. I was smart enough to keep the layers separate. I wasn't smart enough to get to the wedding early. And the bumping of the car on the road wrecked my cake

While my daughter was walking down the aisle and exchanging vows, I was reicing and decorating the cake. Thank goodness my daughter-in-law was there to help.  Did I mention it was an outdoor wedding.  I could work on the cake and watch everything.

I think I should not have snubbed my nose at a Walmart wedding cake.
I hate Cake Boss for making it seem so easy.

And Martha Stewart is on my persona non grata list!!!