My Dog Ate My Wedding Cake

My daughter was married in May. We were on a very tight budget. I am obsessed with Cake Boss and Martha Stewart. They make cake baking and decorating look so easy. And when I taught Home Economics, I had a cake decorator spend three days teaching my students to make flowers, and leaves, and scallops. So I felt imminently qualified to make my daughter's wedding cake--large enough for 175 guests..

I went through bridal magazines and took pictures of cakes and sent them to my daughter. I searched the Internet and sent more photos for her approval. Then we went shopping for the supplies at Michael's. We bought round pans (I could not talk her into columns). We bought turquoise and white candy melts to make sea shell candy and we bought a fancy cake cutter to take off the tops of the baked cakes for leveling.

Next we went to Walmart for the 7 boxes of cake mixes, the 4 bags of powder sugar, (I had decided fondants would be difficult without Buddy's big machine to roll it out flat), the butter, the vanilla, a mixer, etc.

The day before the wedding, I was ready. My daughter decided to trade the round pans for paisley shaped pans--no problem. She decided on live flowers and ribbons. Ok. No problem. I even spent hours watching U-tube videos on cake decorating.

I baked the cakes without burning any of the six layers. I sliced off the tops. I made butter cream icing. I gave the layers a crumb coat. I was a pro. The layers didn't quite match and I was afraid to trim. I decided to fill in with icing.

Then I began the icing for real. I used tons of icing. It was hell getting it smooth. I tried the paper towel trick -- laying a paper towel over the icing and lightly rubbing--a trick I learned from U-tube. I had quilted marks all over the cake. Apparently there is a special brand of paper towels for this to work. The icing was too thick and because of the heat and humidity it began to sag.

I walked away to destress, to figure out my next move.

Fifteen minutes later, I had all the answers (not) and was ready to try again to try and smooth and put on the finishing touches.

And there was Mindy, my two year old Morkie, on the table, licking all the icing from the top two layers. I started screaming and she started running.

No problem. I had time to remake the two layers --go to the store for more cake mixes, time to bake and cool and ice and smooth and....I got busy.

While the new cake was cooling, I thought I would take a nap. Oh no!! My pup had regurgitated a pound of butter cream on the bed. I am just a little intimidated by my future so- in-law --I had to clean the bedding before he found out!!

As I am tripping from the bedroom to the laundry room with an armload of bedding, I discovered another half pound of regurgiated icing on the den rug. I had to roll up the rug to take outside for a thorough cleaning.

Ok. Everything was ok. Had it all under control.

Wedding Day!!

The Internet didn't explain well the transporting of a 6 layer three tier cake. I was smart enough to keep the layers separate. I wasn't smart enough to get to the wedding early. And the bumping of the car on the road wrecked my cake

While my daughter was walking down the aisle and exchanging vows, I was reicing and decorating the cake. Thank goodness my daughter-in-law was there to help.  Did I mention it was an outdoor wedding.  I could work on the cake and watch everything.

I think I should not have snubbed my nose at a Walmart wedding cake.
I hate Cake Boss for making it seem so easy.

And Martha Stewart is on my persona non grata list!!!